What do you mean you ate it?

Warning: Never come between a pregnant lady and her food!

That warning holds especially true if the woman in question turned psycho when she was hungry, hot, or tired BEFORE she got pregnant.

Kyle and I cooked a couple of meals at home, and ate out a few times, so we had quite a few leftovers. On Wednesday we discussed who was going to take which leftovers for lunch the next day. We settled on Kyle taking the cheeseburger and I got the pizza. Imagine my irritation when I came home, looked in the fridge only to find my pizza gone!

Are you serious? I don't think I ask a lot -- yet. I just wanted pizza! Completely irritated, I climbed into bed for a nap without eating. Childish I know, but I was annoyed. I wanted that damn pizza! After an hour my stomach was growling so loud that if I waited much longer, it would begin eating itself, so I ate the damn cheeseburger!

When Kyle got home, I asked him why he didn't eat the cheeseburger? (Take note that I didn't accuse him of stealing my pizza, although that is exactly what he did.) Basically he forgot that we had discussed it. What? How am I supposed to raise a child with someone who can't remember something as simple as "Don't eat the pizza?" He claims that he remembers "important stuff." Funny, I thought food was important...for the baby? That's the rationale he uses when I "forget" to take my prenatal vitamins: "Honey, those are important...for the baby."  Men and their disease, CRS -- Can't (or won't) Remember $hi+! They better recognize. Trust me, all the books say that if a woman was crazy before she got pregnant (which I was), chances are that psycho behavior will be amplified while pregnant (like mine is). Watch out!

The worst part of all is he didn't even eat it!  He went out to lunch instead. Conjures up the image of my favorite t-shirt -- one of many I no longer fit -- "Boys are dumb, throw rocks at them!"

In any case, he did redeem himself. He came home with a photo, addressed to me, and autographed by none other than former Dallas Cowboy, Herschel Walker. Sweet gift! I thanked him profusely, but couldn't ignore the continuous loop in my head, "Don't think this is gonna make me forget you ate my pizza, Buddy! I got my eye on you."

This is your first -- and only -- warning. I WILL stab you with a fork if you come between me and my meal!