...and the baby isn't even here yet!
More stuff no one tells you about! Oh, I was warned about pains from contractions, labor pain, back pain, and leg pain! No one says jack about the other pains you'll endure, often suddenly and without warning. It's the pain associated with the uterus getting wider so the baby can pass through. This phenomena? Round ligament pain. Oh my goodness, it is excruciating!
I wake up in the middle of the night and usually at least one of my inner thighs is aching beyond belief. Sometimes it's a quick, sharp pain that goes away on its own, but other times it's a dull ache that can be eased by applying pressure to the area. The easiest thing I've found that doesn't involve taking medication is to roll over on the side where the pain is located, which sometimes violates the "rule" that says pregnant women have to sleep on my left side.
Most times they creep up when I've gotten up too quickly during one of my middle of the night potty runs. Depending on how alert I am, I've been known to scream out, waking Kyle (which at that moment is not my priority). On other occasions, I just breathe heavily using techniques that hopefully will serve me well when the time comes. They generally go away after a few minutes and with any luck I get back to sleep for more than an hour before I have to pee again.
Speaking of pee, this week's activities took me to a completely new place regarding bathroom usage. After spending too much time in the sun -- pouring beer no less -- I Googled my blurry vision, abdominal cramp on my right side under my rib, and excessive swelling, and found that those were symptoms of pre-eclampsia -- a serious condition that can only resolved by delivering the baby. It really didn't occur to me (or Kyle for that matter) that I could just be dehydrated. After a brief discussion with Kyle, I called the hospital. They told me to monitor my symptoms through the night and then come in the next morning.
The following morning I went to the hospital. I gave a urine sample and they took blood. Of course I made it there on the training day, so I was subjected to three stabs to get blood and a bunch of goo on my belly with paddles that don't require the goo. My temperature was a little low and my blood pressure a little high (a pre-eclampsia risk factor). The baby's heartbeat and movements were normal. I was cramping, but not having contractions. The non-in training nurse took an ultrasound. Baby Matoush is still a boy and is already head down -- Yay, he passed his first test!
Unsure what would happen next the training nurse told me to strip from the waist down. About 20 minutes later (thank goodness for my Kindle) she came back and apologized. I'm still not sure what happened but she had take more blood (two sticks when there should have only been one -- got to remember to ALWAYS bring my stress ball) and another urine test.
Another 15 minutes and the doctor came in. He went over the risks factors for pre-eclampsia and assured me that my symptoms were more consistent with dehydration, but he was still glad that I came in. He also told me that I was naked from the waist down for no reason, he didn't feel I needed a cervical exam unless I really wanted one (Uh, no). He then ordered perhaps the most annoying test yet in order to establish a baseline in the event I returned with the same symptoms. A 24-hour urine sample. The kit had two jugs, a bucket and bedpan type thing. What in the world?
The bedpan type thing fits over the toilet and has a spout so you can pour it in the jug (we should use these in the military, it would make the urinalysis tests much easier than holding the cup in your stream and praying for precision so none gets on your fingers) The bucket can be filled with ice and one of the jugs is stored in the bucket until its returned to the hospital, or you can just place the jug in the refrigerator. Most ridiculous thing ever -- jug of pee hidden behind the liter of Diet Pepsi and wrapped in a plastic bag. I committed to this nonsense which wasn't at all pleasant given how often I have to go to the bathroom now. Thankfully I didn't spill any even when I was barely awake.
My favorite part was wandering through the ;parking lot and then hospital with the big jug when I returned the "specimen" to the lab. You know the feeling...everyone knows what it is, no one wants to makes eye contact while you have it, and the technicians pick it up with gloves. Nice! If that isn't a way to make you feel good about yourself, I don't know what is.
Ahhh...the joys of impending motherhood!
1 comments:
Only you can make jorts look sexy. In other news, the word I have to type in to post this is refri. Makes me want some taco bell.
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